


Something Like Love (Ambiguous)

by LadyRachael



Series: Feeling the Pull (Soulmates) [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24745072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRachael/pseuds/LadyRachael
Summary: Riza and Roy have known each other for years. Being soulmates is only occasionally a comfort.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: Feeling the Pull (Soulmates) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789330
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Something Like Love (Ambiguous)

Grit under her nails, her fingers, her knees, in the air. She had to consciously keep herself from breathing too deeply or too quickly. Acrid smoke and the taste of copper in her mouth if she let herself think on it. 

She patted the mound in front of her. Not much more she could do for them now, but she could do this. She let herself drift from the present, not thinking too deeply. If she cries here in this land of fire and sand, will she blow away like the dunes? She felt like there were no tears left in her, but she wanted to spill herself into this ground that already held so many. The wanting of it sat in her chest like a stone.

A step behind her. "You coming? They're going to leave without you."

Good. She deserves to stay here in this barren land. What life can she build from this? She hears herself answering him as if from a distance, asking him to burn her father's research from her. He seemed reluctant. As if the pain would matter now. She had never wanted this, she had started this journey with idealism and hope. All burned out now, leaving only the determination that there be no more flame alchemists. There were monsters here enough already. She thought longingly of the cold metal at her back, maybe just end it.

He stumbled forward, what does he want now? If he falls on this child's grave she will hurt him and maybe never stop. 

"What are you... No!" He shouted as her hand twitched toward her back. Not here, on another grave. This ground has seen enough blood and anguish, spilled by their hands. He's lost his innocence too many times already, sold his soul for the chance to help and found himself warped into another soldier. Just following orders.

He gripped her hand in his, pulling her back and into a hug. Her hands were crushed to his chest, far from her holsters, grounding her. "I'll do it, I'll burn it for you. Back where we can be alone. Hold on for me, Riza."

~

She was shirtless in his room, and he wished he could be happier about it. He wished a lot of things as he set out the gauze and burn ointment on the side table. For instance, he wished he wasn't wearing his gloves, and that either of them were happy to be alone in his room. He handed her a wet towel to press to her chest and another to bite. This would not be painless, but attracting an audience would be worse. 

"Deep breath, I'll try to be as quick as I can. Ready?" She nodded and he began.

It was done now, no going back. He dropped his gloves carelessly on the ground and stepped forward. Gently dab the burns, ointment, gauze. Next one, and again. He murmured constant apologies, sorry for hurting her again, sorry for dragging her into this hell, sorry, sorry.

His hand brushed against her hip, and she grabbed his hip at the same time to steady herself. Runes painted themselves on their skin as the universe had a laugh at their expense. What good were soulmates to such battered hearts? Now the tears came, as Riza cried at the irony. She always thought her soulmate would rescue her from some danger, not drag her into it. A fitting end to her crush on Roy. She wished she could want him now, but the pain in her heart was too much for now.

~

She was always at his back. He knew her devotion was real, and her facade often tricked people into thinking she was just here for the job. He knew it was more, though, something like love.


End file.
